Entry # 1

As I sit here trying to figure out how to begin the first sentence of my first blog entry I feel at peace. During the final days of 2009 I made several promises to myself; mainly promises that would allow my future to me different from my past, and I can say that on this fifth day of March that I am keeping the promises that were made.

Who am I?
Hmm....I am a twenty four year old, newly married, optimistic young lady who knows she is destined for success. That knowledge drives me to pursue my interests until I find what it is that I am looking for. As a child my profession of choice was the person at Dunkin Doughnuts that hands you to the doughnuts...lol, I would explain that to people with a straight face. Not understanding the puzzled looks I received while maintaining confidence behind my aspired profession. After maturing I decided on becoming what I thought was a psychologist but in reality I was interested in therapy. I have always had an appreciation for communication. There was a point where I was shut off to the world, because communication can hurt as much as it can heal, but now that I am older I appreciate it more and know when its necessary to use. All through high school I knew that I would attend college and major in psychology, and some how have an office and see clients. I didn't really know the necessary steps to accomplish that dream. The summer before college I had an emergency trip to the dentist, that trip changed my career goals to dentistry, but a couple semesters of college biology shifted my interest back to psychology. After finishing college there was one thing that I knew I did not want to do....go back to school. With no perspective jobs I took a month hiatus in Egypt to study Arabic. That month was a well needed vacation from the mental anguish I was in towards the end of my undergraduate years. I had no job, my resume was shabby, but I did have a college degree and a father with lots of contacts (or so I thought), so the uncertainties of my future were on hold while I rode camels, acted like I spoke the language and hung out on the Nile. The three months after my return were spent developing a resume, calling businesses, going to job fairs and trying to stay optimistic in what seemed like a horrible situation. I foolishly financed my lavish lifestyle with two credit cards, that I am still paying on today. Luckily my father was able to get me a job at a behavioral hospital, and I have been employed there for three years. After my first year I began graduate studies for professional counseling, but on the last day of my practicum I realized that I no longer wanted to listen to people's problems for a living. Being a counselor is very selfless. You have to use yourself as a mirror for your clients, and it is up to them to grow or to remain stagnant. Regardless of how much I enjoy to see others happy I cannot dedicate years of studying, internships and low pay for people who may or may not benefit from my patience. Luckily for me in the middle of my career changes I met my dream husband. It completely caught me off guard, but I knew who I was looking for and ten months later we were married in the most wonderful wedding, and today nine months later we are still happy and in love. We both are constant motivations for the other to succeed in whatever we are aspiring to do.
Where am I today? I still work at the nut house, only for income, but I am interning at a wonderful bakery around the corner from my house. Someone recently told me that people are more aware of what they want to do when they are younger than when they are older. Is it possible that the child who wanted to hand people doughnuts had more self awareness than the college graduate who was interested in therapy? Only time will tell....