Learned Behaviors

With this new found hunger for life I have found myself reflecting on everything that pertains to me. The way that I grew up, my family, my friendships, the things that make me happy, the things that make me sad, pretty much everything about my existence. Something that I have recently realized is that I have never found anyone quite like me. I have three sisters and one brother, we look alike, but we all have completely different personalities. And believe it or not I am the odd ball. Its not that bad, its fun, and its the truth. Here is an example of my odd ballness, my youngest sister's bday is October 24,my older sisters bday is December 25, my oldest sisters bday is June 26, and my brothers bday is January 28. Look at the day they were born, all in order, all that's needed is the 27th, good thing my bday is March 27th right....wrong its June 4th. There are other things that I can talk about but the truth of the matter is that I never had a problem with being different. From a young age I was comfortable in my skin. I didn't mind playing alone, or playing with others. I didn't see anything wrong with crying after my mother left me. I didn't care about matching clothes, or what my reflection looked like. I was never self conscious. I learned later in life that you are supposed to care what people think about you and have things that you don't like about yourself. I stopped wearing flip flops because I was told me feet were to big. I'm sure they are, but they are my feet and I didn't have much control over them, so why not embrace them. Once I realized that my feet are perfect simply because they are mine I did away with the sneakers and embraced my Fred flinstone hand feet.

In regards to my baking I sometimes find myself discouraged because there are so many wonderful cake decorators out there. Real artists making real art. I am just someone who is fiddling in a possible interest, there is no place for me in this culinary world. Or is there? When I find myself having the negative, counter productive thought I automatically challenge it and remind myself that I am not trying to be like the cake boss, or even the woman that I interned with. I am merely doing something that I enjoy and allowing others to be apart of my journey (by indulging in MarYumms yummies). I am going to leave my mark my way. I cant be the Maryam who put socks on with flip flops because everyone else had issues with themselves, I am going to embrace the Maryam who is comfortable with herself, flaws and all.

Pictured above is a splenda strawberry flower cake and a coconut number six cake, both received positive feedback so that is good with me.

Until next time...