Driven By My Fears

One of the many things on the list of fears is ultimate failure. I would define ultimate failure as the inability to smile at ones reflection, or the inability to identify any relevant success. With the anniversary of my twenty sixth year of living approaching I have found myself reflecting on the different stages of my life. At times I feel as though I could have put in a little more effort, or at least been consistent in them. But the majority of the time I gain clarity on why I operated the way that I did during those early stages of development. Generally I focus on the educational aspects, my performances in high school and college. My high school career was a roller coaster, some semesters I did well, other semesters I did less well and then there were those semesters that were a little less than less well. But even with the inconsistency of my academic performance, I was not disappointed in myself, I was more so upset about disappointing my parents. For whatever reason I knew that I wouldn't fail a class, and I knew that I would succeed so I never stressed much. I took that lackadaisical attitude to college, and was able to walk across the stage four years after I enrolled in the summer of 2002.

Something that I have put together is that a lot of our academic achievements weigh heavily upon the hand of man (our professors). I learned that the hard way my freshman year, when I encountered a math professor who gave me no credit for a page of work saying that I didn't show how I got the right answer, when I had a page of work leading to the answer. Unfortunately for me I allowed the professor to negatively affect my educational drive. But I learned that you have to have confidence in yourself, your intelligence, and your potential, regardless of what anyone says. Even if they are the person that can tarnish your college transcript forever. Now that I am out of college I have to wonder if I maintained the initial motivation and excelled academically, would my professional options be different today. Hmmmmmm.....Being the optimistic individual that I am I know that I am where I am for a reason, and that is the end of that. Yes there are some frustrating days!!! How many GIGS can one person have?!? *deep breath Maryam* I look at my gigs as an opportunity to invest time into my baking.

I love the kitchen. Not just baking, but the entire cooking process. How simple ingredients can create something magical. When flour, milk, sugar, eggs and butter are involved the options are endless. Biscuits, cakes, cookies, brownies, blondies, or just something that you come up with.

Regardless of the should ofs and could ofs I am loving where I am, because every aspect of my baking journey has been blessed. I just have to keep positively affirming myself, pushing those fears to the back burner because if you can believe it then it will be achieved. Until next time...

This cake was for a co-workers work baby shower. Strawberry and yellow sheet cake with cream cheese frosting. The polka dots were hand made with candy melts and the word baby was made using a candy mold.




This is a number one cupcake cake. There were three flavors of cupcakes used, chocolate, strawberry and coconut, and it was frosted with a cream cheese frosting.